Back of the net

Saturday, February 25, 2006

Poster for HDIF

Two days of snow, and I've only left the house once. What a wuss. I've spent these two days doing projects to try and get a job and this poster for Ian at HDIF.

Thursday, February 23, 2006

The future from the bus window

The bus is 45 minutes late. Bring into the equation that I was 45 minutes early to pick it up and you've got a really cold girl. On the top deck I'm behaving like your stereotypical inhabitant of England 2006 - tapping on my laptop, tuning in to itunes and about to attempt a sudoku. I've done some bingy drinking over the weekend and eaten both take-aways and health foods. I'm some sort of cliché. I suppose one day I'll look back on these things and think how cute it was, once the pain in my back from arranging myself over a bus-seat has long since passed and the torturous combination of high heels and a backpack have been abandoned as ridiculous. One day this contraption will be as naff as the vhs player is becoming. One day the word naff will be obsolete. One day I'll be in a retro club wearing this very outfit to a '2000s' night.

There isn't anyone very interesting on the bus, which is nice as I'll get some sleep later but a bit dull as I can't have a giggle at other people's conversations. On the way up here last time I got a horde of Plymothian metalhead fantasy-gamers. They were discussing who they did and didn't like in 'the guild' and spoke highly of some 'world of warcraft' in which they were engaged. Is this what I would have become had we had broadband when I was at school?

Now safely back in Cornwall. That's Plymouth behind. Boo.

Sunday, February 19, 2006

Ham

In two weeks I will be moving in to a house in East London with two of my favourite people; Daniel T. Odyssey and Jonathan Moriarty (once Roberts and Dear). In honour of this joyous union I am lazily scrapping together a comic strip into which we occasionally churn the hilarity of our days. The style is somewhere between the Tweenies and South Park.

L-R Dalek, Me Jon and Dan, and Saz who is the outgoing inhabitant of the room that I shall think of as 'Waz's Room' even when I've been in it a year. I have incredibly stylish shoes to fill as her replacement chez Clem and hope she has a ball in her new gaff.

Some people have asked why on earth I would want to live in East London, let alone East Ham. I'll admit it hardly has the happy buzz of the great outdoors but for me it is uniquely fun. The man shouting 'Wigglies' outside East Ham market, milky tea and eggs at hungover cafe, raiding the pound shop, Primark's £4 bin; these are a few of my favourite things.

Not to mention my darling friends and their extensive video, DVD and computer game collections.

Thursday, February 16, 2006

For the sake of all things good

would someone please give me a JOB!

I am a whizz with Photoshop, Illustrator and InDesign and I can use Quark and Freehand. I am enthusiastic and approachable and co-operative and creative. Tell all your friends. Tell them to tell their friends. Somebody, somewhere has got to want to employ me.

Monday, February 13, 2006

...back to France


On Saturday we went to cheer on Sheffield United in their yawn-inducing battle with Plymouth Argyle, who geographically I ought to support but don't because I don't like Plymouth and went to my least favourite school across the road from their ground. It was my first football match for over five years and in-keeping with every bloody one I've ever bloody seen it was a dull bloody draw.

Fortunately the gaggle of chavs surrounding us provided ample entertainment. Directly in front was a very cheerful pillock whose mouth had clearly been bashed in a good many times, and who sported a 'SUFC' tattoo across the back of his neck. Further forward another group was headed by a man who insisted on flapping his arms to taunt the opposition, a move which was utterly inexplicable unless he was making a comment on the abundance of seagulls at Home Park.

A little further along the edge of the Argyle supporters' area was lined with prepubescent Burberry-clad janners, who SUFC-man swore at and (in what must be a gesture of chav etiquette) exchanged mobile numbers with to text-arrange a ruck for later on. We chanted the name of the club; they retorted that we've "only got one song"; we sang about greasy chip butties; they called us dirty northern bastards. Seagull-man told them to 'Fuck off back to France'. All highly entertaining.


On Sunday we went to the Eden project. It's still bloody brilliant. They've got a new educational bit including a cool hydroponics area which looks very sci-fi. Last time I went I had never visited Asia but I can now confirm how Malaysia-y the Malaysia part is and that the Indian section is indeed very Indian. Dave was most impressed by a plant that smelled like a brewery, and almost refused to leave it.

I haven't sent any Valentine's day cards and I shan't get any so I think I'll get pissed and sing along with the jam night in Millbrook.

Wednesday, February 08, 2006

Another messenger conversation with no-one


This photo is from a cool walk I took with the dog earlier. I was listening to Bjork and dancing and singing away to myself. I hope this is what being old is like, it rocks.

Tricia: Hello
Tricia: I'm michael bay
Tricia: my film, Pearl Harbour, sucked more than I miss you
***'s status is now "Idle". (08/02/2006 22:52)
Tricia: Idle? If I'd spent time 'idle' I'd never have made hits like 'Bad Boys 2' and 'The Rock'
Tricia: It's my bedtime soon
Tricia: Curses. No literati before bedtime. Michael Bay want Scrabble. Michael Bay not happy.
Tricia: Michael Bay kill off tall northerner in next explosive action movie.
Tricia: Michael Bay get Sean Bean on phone.
Tricia: Oh Bollocks

Monday, February 06, 2006

Cliff and the young ones.

I have been put to shame by Dan's prolific posting. He is blogging for England while I struggle to put a paragraph together to describe what's been going on lately.

I had a cold this week and that sucked, particularly as it meant I couldn't go NLPing. I expect I picked something up in London, maybe at the gig. I'm still not quite used to how many people there are up there in the big smoke.

The G. Flyers are the first thing to have jerked me out of my design lull for a few weeks, only to do a bit of boring technical stuff but it's worked. I have been putting off jazzing up my CV for a long time but I almost feel like trying now (I said almost, lets not get ahead of ourselves). Not only that but I started talking about it to a lady at the pub who now wants me to give her some photoshop lessons, and we were overheard by another mate who now wants me to revamp his logo. All this along with the tattoo for Carl, a wall adornment for Dave, ideas for boat identity stuff for Daz and a few other projects should keep me busy until I get a proper job that pays money. I just have to start. But not right now, eh?

Being back in Cornwall is brilliant. It has smells and sounds that are all its own. Yesterday Carl and Sally (Millbrook Sally not Cawsand Sally) and I went for the finest of my recent walks. We went down the cliff to Tregantle Beach at high tide and climbed over rocks all the way to Sharrow Point (this is quite a long way), performing impressive stretches, wobbling determinedly at dangerous heights and slipping into the occasional rock pool. On the way we passed the wreck of the drug boat that ran aground about ten years ago, a huge old rusty buoy and a grotto with a poem carved into wall. We picked interesting pieces of driftwood and ended up at the pub slightly soggy and quite exhausted. Getting pissed was followed by an open fire, tempura, Gangs of New York and falling asleep on the sofa. Absolutely brilliant.