Self Portrait

Q: What's vainer than Trish when she's only got her new software and her photo collection to play with?
A: Very sodding little

This weekend has been rather strange because everyone's getting ready for Christmas by sunbathing on the beach. It's so good to see some colour on these pasty arms. There is a massive terrifying papier-mache style Father Christmas on Whitcoulls (WH Smiths) in town which has a motor in it which winks one of its eyes and bends its pointing index finger. It looks like it should be saying 'Milky Milky'.

Just so you all know now - nobody's getting anything for Christmas. Sorry folks, but I'm a scabby student these days. Those of you who want goodies from NZ can wait until February. It's also pointless for anyone to send me anything as I'll be shipping everything back to England 2 days after the big day. Santa is bypassing my gaff this year and thank goodness, he looks like a bloody great pervert.